Jeri's Story
We have a 12 year old son adopted from a Ukrainian orphanage eight years ago that is leveling our family mentally, emotionally and financially. We've had our son in therapy and/or on medication for over five years now. He is now posturing aggression with myself and exploding verbally at our daughter and my husband. I know exactly what is triggering a lot of this and that is school is getting ready to start and he was bullied at our local school here in *******. Finally, I took him out in November to home school him. In my regular life, I am a school teacher but left teaching in order to focus on our son's unique needs three years ago.
We would love to be able to avoid having the state pay our son's way. Our insurance would only cover $3,000 of an inpatient program and they would expect us to prepay the $2,500 deductible, which we cannot afford. Even if we could afford it, that amount would pay for approximately five days only and we'd be back at square one. Last year, we had to put him in the state hospital as he was acting crazy at school and threatening to harm himself and others. During his six weeks at the children's unit at the state hospital, he was verbally threatened by two of the workers (I spoke with one on the phone and he admitted he'd told our son that if he kept coming back, they would take him away from us forever and that they could keep him there for the rest of his life.
He was also told that there is a graveyard on the hospital property for kids. Shortly before being discharged, he was choked by a substitute staff member. In spite of being told by the service director, that this man had choked a patient before, an inside investigation said these charges were unfounded. I cannot in good conscience send him back there. Our son is the way he is (PTSD, RAD, GAD) because of the abuse the "caregivers" heaped upon him in many different ways.
I was also informed by the social work investigator that if we do file RAPR (Refusal to Accept Parental Responsibilities) that we will have to appear before a judge and it is my understanding that having a child removed from our home would then be placed on our record. This would impact the chance of me getting a teaching job in the future.
On Monday morning at nine, we have an appointment with C.P.S. to staff about the probability we will have to give over custody of our son to the state. This meeting is to go over our situation and discuss options, I do not think that we will have to sign over custody at that time. I believe in my heart that God guided us to this child and now I'm hoping he's guiding us to a source of healing.
Thank you for reading
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|2010-06-23 01:18:22 LEIGH SIMARI - no state careHi there, I am in a similar situation with my 12 yr old grandson. He became so violent that we had to place him in care. Well I wish I never did. The only good thing about it was that we found a great therapist who finally diagnosed him with RAD. She is working with me and my grandson and our family to help him...I want him home as soon as possible as state care is awful for the child..please re consider doing that.
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